


Flowers for Your Lovely

by BadBadBucky



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pining, flower shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBadBucky/pseuds/BadBadBucky
Summary: Vince owns a flower shop and Howard Moon is his best customer, always coming in to buy flowers for the new woman he has fallen for. The more Vince gets to know Howard, the more he falls for him, but Howard doesn't seem to feel the same way, too busy falling in love with every lady he sees.A Valentine's Flower Shop AU because I love you all!
Relationships: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Comments: 16
Kudos: 31





	Flowers for Your Lovely

Things were typically slow for Vince in October. Shockingly enough, save for a few goths, no one was all that interested in sending flowers for Halloween. He didn’t mind. His shop--Vince Noir’s Flower Bar--did most of its business on Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day and he had enough steady work to keep him busy through the leaner parts of the year. Also, it just wasn’t in Vince’s nature to worry. He’d landed his dream job, he was good at it, and people seemed to enjoy his creations. What was there to worry about?

Vince had worked in the flower shop and had purchased the shop when the old owner retired. He’d changed the name and updated a few things, preferring to use unusual flowers and more avant garde arrangements. Some people said that he had a supernatural ability to tell what someone’s favorite flower was, and it was true that no one who received one of his arrangements was ever disappointed. 

Vince was working on an arrangement for a woman’s 100th birthday that her grandson had ordered. Vince had some beautiful Terracotta Roses he had arranged into a sphere, he was dotting the arrangement with stalks of wheat when the bell over his door rang and a tall man walked into his shop.

Vince set aside his arrangement and walked up to the counter. “Alright?” Vince said.

“Yes, hello there,” the man said. Beyond being tall, he was also quite broad, with lovely brown eyes. He had a very serious expression, and from his clothing choices, Vince had to assume he was colorblind. 

“What can I do you for?” Vince asked.

“Well, you see, there is a woman,” the man said.

Vince felt a grin spread across his face. This was one of his favorite parts of the job, helping lovestruck fools find the perfect arrangement for their lovely lady. “Do you know what kind of flowers she likes?”

“Um, well, we’ve never actually spoken,” the man said.

“Ah,” Vince said, knowingly, “admiring from afar.”

“Yes! Yes, that’s exactly it. Have you got anything for that?” the man asked.

“As a matter of fact, I think I’ve got the perfect thing,” Vince said. He walked over to one of his refrigerated flower cases and pulled out some Lavender Mist Lisianthus’s. Lovely frilly purple petals with a yellow heart, they were hopeful and playful, and made Vince think of schoolyard crushes and starting something new. “What do you know about her?” he asked, as he arranged the Lisianthus. 

“Oh, well, uh, she likes snakes,” the man said. “I work at a zoo, and she is head of the reptile department.”

Vince pondered this intel for a moment, then he pulled out some Berzillia green baubles. They had a certain reptilian quality to them, and they went well with the lavender of the other flowers. 

“And she’s also quite intelligent, at least I believe she is. She wears glasses,” the man said. 

Vince nodded. Smart ladies liked to be challenged. They liked things that were less traditional. He walked back to the cooler and pulled out some pink Coxcomb’s. They were a little alien, but very pretty, and Vince liked the name because it was a bit cheeky. Vince carefully arranged the flowers in a green vase. 

The man hovered around for a bit. 

“Zoo, huh?” Vince asked, not looking up as he worked.

“What?” the man said.

“You work at a zoo?” Vince said. He carefully spritzed a few of the flowers to perk them back up. 

“Yes, I am head zookeeper,” the man said. 

“That’s well cool,” Vince said, “I love animals. They’re genius.” He finished the arrangement and presented it to Howard. “There, what you think?”

“It’s quite...unique,” the man said.

“So’s every lady,” Vince said.

The man still looked unsure. “I suppose I was thinking something a bit more traditional, roses or…”

“Look, if you wanted red roses and baby’s breath, you coulda gone to the Tesco Express, alright?” Vince said. He was a bit sensitive about his unusual flower choices. “You want something boring, you go to the Dior Flower House down the street. You want something special, you come to Vince Noir’s Flower Bar.”

“Woah there, Little Man,” the man said. “No offense meant. It’s just a bit unusual, but so is Mrs. Gideon.”

“ _Mrs. Gideon_?” Vince said, cocking an eyebrow. “Is this a homewrecking arrangement? Because that’s a whole different color palette and--”

“No,” the man said. “No, they’re separated.”

Vince relaxed. “Well, alright then. What do you want it to say on the card? Or do you want to take it with you now?”

“No, no, delivery is best,” the man said.

Vince grabbed a pen and paper and looked up at the man expectantly. 

The man cleared his throat several times. “Your hair is a waterfall of chocolate cream. Your eyes are like two orbs of cream with cilantro floating on the surface.”

Vince made a face at this, but the man didn’t notice.

“Your hands are like cream sculptures, and your heart shall soon be mine. Always, Howard,” the man--Howard--finished. 

Vince wrote down all that Howard had said. “Do you want me to read it back to you, see if there are any...changes you might want to make?”

“No,” Howard said confidently. “I’ve been working on that poem for months. It’s ready.”

Vince bit his tongue. “Right. Okay. I’ll deliver it, a bit later on today.

“Wonderful, thank you sir,” Howard said. He paid Vince and left the shop, whistling, with a jaunty bounce to his step. 

Vince delivered the flowers to the saddest looking zoo he’d ever seen. He thought he saw Howard watching him give the flowers to Mrs. Gideon, his face hidden amongst a cloud of pink balloons, but he must have been imagining things, because when he looked back, it was just a bunch of balloons, no faces to be seen. 

A month later, Howard once again came into the shop. 

Vince grinned. He’d quite liked the strange man. “Alright, Howard?”

“I need another arrangement,” Howard said. 

“Things going well with Mrs. Gideon then?” Vince asked.

“Hm? Oh, no. Gideon and I are through,” Howard said. “She loved the flowers, but couldn’t remember my name. I’ve moved on.”

“Who’s the new one then?” Vince said.

“Her name is Neon,” Howard said. 

“What does she like? Or have you two not spoken either?” Vince asked. He gave Howard a cheeky grin just to let him know he was only teasing. 

“We did speak, in fact,” Howard said, primly. “She’s a bit of a tough character. Threatened me with a knife, but it was easy to see that it was just the prelude to a passionate and tempestuous relationship.”

“Right…” Vince said. She sounded awful, but he didn’t want to discourage Howard, and he’d seen plenty of relationships that had kicked off with a threatened stabbing and ended in marital bliss. When you worked in flowers, you saw everything. 

“She’s fond of bright colors,” Howard said.

“Wow, that’s actually useful!” Vince said.

“Oh, cheers,” Howard said. 

“That’s not what I meant, it's just, it’s good to have something to go off of,” Vince said. Vince turned to his cooler, mostly full with more autumnal flowers, but he always kept some brighter colors around, even if he was the only one who liked them. He pulled out some orchids that he had dip-dyed purple and blue. “What you think of these?”

“Well, they certainly match her...aesthetic,” Howard said. 

“Genius!” Vince arranged the orchids into a tall column with some eucalyptus leaves for greenery.

While he was working, Vince learned a bit more about Howard. He’d grown up in Leeds. He had many hobbies--wildlife photography, stationary curation, poetry, and he could play any instrument he set his hand too.

Vince told Howard how he held a special place in his heart for tropical flowers because they reminded him of his childhood growing up in the jungle. 

Eventually, and yet too soon for Vince, the arrangement was done. “What do you want the card to say?” he asked, praying that Howard wasn’t going to inflict any more of his “poetry” on another poor girl. 

“Perhaps we could listen to the Human League sometime. Always, Howard,” Howard said.

“Get out! You like the Human League?” Vince asked. He _loved_ the Human League. They’d just recently cracked the top 100 of his top 1000 bands. 

“No, it’s absolute rubbish, but she likes electro music and they’re the only electro band I know,” Howard said. 

“Oi! They’re not rubbish,” Vince said. “They’re brilliant.”

“It’s not real music, sir,” Howard said, a smile threatening to escape from under the weight of his mustache. 

“They invented music,” Vince said. He planted his tongue in the side of his cheek, looking indignant and perhaps a bit flirty, if he was being totally honest with himself. 

“Surely you can’t actually believe that,” Howard said. 

Vince rolled his eyes. Of course he didn’t actually believe that, but Howard sounded so pompous that he just couldn’t resist messing with him a bit. “Everything before them was just tuning up,” he declared. 

Howard looked physically pained by this.

“And what do you like?” Vince asked. “Standing over there, Mr. Superior?”

“Jazz,” Howard said.

Vince let out a loud groan. “Oh, I might have guessed.”

“And what is wrong with jazz, sir?” Howard demanded.

“Nothin’, if you’re mentally ill,” Vince said. 

Howard could no longer fight down the smile on his face, but still seemed uneasy with its presence. “Just deliver the flowers, alright?”

Vince snapped off a sarcastic salute and watched Howard leave the shop. He had a large dopey grin on his face that he just couldn’t seem to get rid of for the rest of the day.

A month later, Howard once again came into the shop. He was dressed all in black, he wore black leather trousers, black eyeliner, and he’d ratted his hair into a crow’s nest of despair. A giant smile bloomed across Vince’s face upon seeing him, even if he did look quite different. 

“Alright, Howard?” Vince asked. “How’d things go wiv Neon?” When Vince had delivered the flowers she had loved them, but when he’d said who they were from, she’d gotten a rather nasty look on her face.

“She stabbed me, put me in hospital for a week,” Howard said.

The smile prompt dropped off Vince’s face. “Are you okay?” he asked. Howard did look a bit pale, but that may have been the gothic makeup he was wearing. 

“Oh yes, it was a very minor wound, but I insisted they keep me an entire week for observation. You never know what complications may arise,” Howard said. 

“Well, I’m glad it weren’t too serious,” Vince said. “So, who’s the new lucky lady?”

“Her name is Ebola, and she’s a goth girl,” Howard said.

Well, that certainly explained the getup. 

“I think I got just the thing,” Vince said. He went back to the cooler and brought out some black roses. He then surrounded the roses with dark purple pampas grass and dark red feathers. 

Vince knew that this girl would like the flowers--he was quite good at what he did--but he wasn’t sure if she would like Howard. Howard clearly had his doubts as well, since he’d felt the need to change his entire appearance for her. “Are you, um, entirely sure this is the right girl for you, Howard?” Vince asked. 

“What are you on about?” Howard asked.

Vince wanted to broach the subject gently, as he didn’t want to hurt Howard’s feelings. “It’s just, this isn't your usual style is it?” 

“No,” Howard admitted. “But I just felt like trying something new. Stagnation is only one step from death, you know.”

“Right, but uh, do you even like what you’re wearing?” Vince asked. “It just seems really...different from what you usually wear. I just think--if you’re changing the way you dress for this girl--”

“I appreciate your concern, but I am quite capable of managing my own affairs,” Howard said. “Thanks.”

Vince nodded and kept working. As always, they talked while he worked. Finally, Vince finished the arrangement. He topped it off with a little replica raven skull and then pushed it toward Howard. 

“I thought I’d have you deliver it again,” Howard said. 

“Sorry, I got too many deliveries to make today, Christmas you know?” Vince said. “I wouldn’t be able to do it until tomorrow and you want it to be fresh.” He offered Howard a wilty smile then picked up the arrangement to hand it to him. “They should come from you anyway, so you can see her face.” 

Howard reached out to take the arrangement and when his hands closed around the vase, his fingers brushed over Vince’s. And unless it was Vince’s imagination, Howard’s fingers lingered there, for a moment, before Howard took the flowers and left the shop. 

A month later, Howard once again entered the shop. He was once again wearing his old ugly clothes. Today, he wore a bright orange hawaiian shirt over an olive green rollneck. He also wore dirt brown corduroys and birkenstocks with socks. He was a mess and Vince loved him--it, Vince loved it--the outfit. 

“Alright, Howard?” Vince said.

“It’s my birthday, today,” Howard said. 

“Oh that’s wonderful, happy b--”

“And I’m in love,” Howard announced. 

Vince’s words died in his throat. He tried not to panic. Howard always said he was in love. He was a hopeless romantic in a geography teacher’s body. Why should this time be any different? “Wow, well that is fantastic,” Vince said, his voice a bit weak. “Tell me all about her, what’s her name?”

“No idea,” Howard said, but he did not seem deterred by this. 

Vince relaxed a bit, it couldn’t be very serious,if Howard didn’t even know her name. Though Howard seemed a lot more confident in this burgeoning romance than he had the rest. 

“Have you spoken?” Vince asked.

“Yes, she came into the shop--”

“Shop? What shop?” Vince said. “I thought you worked in a zoo.”

“It got paved over, while I was in hospital, I work in a shop now,” Howard said, flapping his hand as if these were trifling details. “She came into the shop, and she showed quite a bit of interest in my pencil case display.”

“Pencil cases,” Vince said. 

“Yes, I had designed some custom pencil cases decorated with various jazz legends, and she even recognized a few,” Howard said. 

A girl who liked pencil cases and jazz. She did sound perfect for Howard. Vince turned back toward his case of flowers, so that Howard wouldn’t see that Vince looked less than happy for him.

Vince pulled out some orange magnolias and some olive branches and began arranging them in a small tight bouquet in a little mason jar. 

“She’s got quite an eccentric style,” Howard said. “And she seems very kind. I invited her to my birthday party this evening.”

“You’re having a party?” Vince asked. 

“No,” Howard said, “but I’ll throw something together.” He smiled and Vince didn’t think he had ever seen Howard look so happy. It made Vince’s heart hurt. He returned to the cooler and grabbed some purple thistles, he poked them in amongst the flowers. 

Vince finished the bouquet and handed it to Howard. “Here.” 

“Thank you, I’m sure she’ll love--” Howard began, but Vince interrupted him.

“No, this one is for you, for your birthday,” Vince said. 

Howard touched the petals gently. “It’s beautiful.”

Vince smiled at the praise, though it was undeserved. The bouquet was very ugly, full of colors and textures that did not go together, but also managed to not look good in juxtaposition either, but it was certainly all Howard. “I’ll bring the bouquet for your lovely round yours, tonight,” he said. “She’ll love it.”

Howard gave Vince a shy little excited smile that made his little brown eyes disappear to almost nothing, then he left the shop. 

Vince spent the rest of the day trying to think of a proper arrangement for this pencil case girl. Should he go bright and fun? Traditional and romantic? He wanted to make Howard happy, and that meant making the girl happy. 

He kept fiddling with the arrangement and didn’t notice that it had gone dark outside. Before he knew it, it was gone midnight and he was still mucking about. There were shredded flowers scattered all over his work table. Every bloom he touched seemed to shrivel and die. Vince’s hands were red and pocked from carelessly handling thorny roses. 

It was too late, he had to go over to Howard’s party before it was over. He threw together some red roses and baby’s breath, wrapped it in brown paper and walked to the address Howard had given him. It didn’t seem like there was a party going. The lights were dark in the flat above the shop. 

Vince knocked on the door. Howard pulled the door open, a hopeful look on his face, when he saw it was Vince, the hopeful look turned to disappointment. 

“Oh, thanks,” Howard said. He held out his arms for the flowers. 

“Where’s the pencil case girl?” Vince asked, handing the flowers to Howard.

“She never showed up,” Howard said. 

Vince looked around Howard’s shoulders and saw a table set for two. There were two candles that had melted down to nubs, white wax dripping down onto the red tablecloth. Between the two candlesticks was an empty vase. “I’m so sorry, Howard--”

“It’s fine, doesn’t matter,” Howard said. “It was foolish.”

“What was?” Vince said. 

“Thinking someone like her could like someone like me,” Howard said. 

“Howard, that’s not, just because she didn’t--maybe something happened, you don’t know,” Vine said.

“No, no, that’s sweet of you, Vince, but it’s all very clear now. I’m obviously meant to be alone,” Howard said. He walked back toward the table and laid the flowers down next to an uneaten tiramisu. 

“That’s not true,” Vince said. “You’ll find someone special. Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong place.”

Howard sank down into one of the kitchen chairs, he slumped over, resting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. “I honestly don’t know where else I could look,” he said. “No one I’m interested in, has ever liked me back. That is just a simple fact of life.” 

Vince continued to awkwardly hover at the doorway. “Well, maybe it’s someone you wouldn’t expect. Like someone you know.” He twisted a lock of his hair around his finger. He also noticed that he was biting his lip, but he stopped that, he couldn’t be too obvious. 

Howard snorted laughter at this. “Don’t think I’d want anyone I know to be interested in me, they’re all obnoxious nutters.”

“Oh,” Vince said. “Right.” He sniffled a bit, but didn’t want to let on that Howard had hurt his feelings. “Think I’d better go. It’s late.”

“Yeah, it is,” Howard agreed and for the first time he seemed to notice just how late it was. “Why is it so late?” Howard looked down at the bouquet. “And I thought you hated roses and baby’s breath.”

Vince’s face went hot and he could feel the blush coloring his cheeks. “It’s a classic for a reason.”

“Yeah, but you hate the classics. And you still didn’t answer my question. Do you often make midnight flower deliveries?” Howard said. 

“Yeah, new service,” Vince said. “Trying it out, emergency flower delivery for husbands in the doghouse, late night A&E visits. That sort of thing.”

Howard’s eyebrow was cocked skeptically, but he didn’t press Vince further. 

“Goodnight Howard, happy birthday,” Vince said, his voice going a bit high. 

“Goodnight, Vince,” Howard said. 

A month passed and Howard still hadn’t come in, but Vince did not have much time to think about it, for which he was thankful, because Valentine’s Day was coming up, for which he was not thankful. Generally, Valentine’s Day was Vince’s favorite holiday. He loved helping people pick the perfect flowers for their lovelies. He loved the hearts and the cupids and the candy. He thought it was all tremendously romantic and he looked forward to the day when he would finally be able to share the holiday with someone special, rather than just his customers. 

On the day itself, Vince spent almost the entire day delivering arrangements on his bicycle with the basket installed on the front. He rode all around the city enjoying the joy and surprise on each recipient’s face. It was almost enough for him to ignore the ache in his own heart.

At the end of the day, Vince made his last delivery and rode back to the shop to close up. They would be closed the next day, so that he could rest after the marathon of his busiest day of the year. He swept up the shop, flipped the sign to closed, stepped outside, and pulled out his keys to lock the door. 

Vince looked down the street, and saw a gigantic mass of flowers heading his way. The arrangement was so big that he couldn’t see the face of whoever was carrying it. It was, by far, the ugliest arrangement Vince had ever seen. It looked like whoever had created this monstrosity had run out of petrol station flowers and had been forced to use weeds they’d picked from the side of the road to fill in the gaps. He wondered who would be receiving that monstrosity for Valentine’s Day and perhaps felt a little jealous. Even though the arrangement itself was horrible, with awful colors and counterintuitive flower choices, it had clearly been made with love. 

Vince locked his door and turned to the approaching arrangement and whoever was holding it. “You alright? Need some help carrying that?”

“Think I’ve got it,” a muffled voice said from behind the flowers. The voice had a northern accent. 

Vince reached out and moved some of the flowers out of the way and there was a face in amongst the blooms. “Howard?”

“Alright, Vince?” Howard said. 

“What is this? You trying to give me some competition? Put me out of business?” Vince asked. He was quite impressed at how normal he sounded when his heart was fluttering and his knees were weak. 

Howard set the arrangement down on the ground, it nearly reached his knees. “I think there is little risk of that.”

Vince grinned. “No. I guess not. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I remember you mentioning Valentine’s Day was your favorite holiday,” Howard said. 

“Yeah, and you said only saps like Valentine’s Day,” Vince said. 

“That I did,” Howard said. “That I did. But there is something you should know Vince, something that might shock you. But...I am a sap.”

Vince laughed. “I already knew that,” he said. 

“That’s preposterous, Howard said. “I give off an air of respectability and stoicism.”

“I had you pegged for a big ol’ sap the moment, you walked in,” Vince said. “Well, once my eyes adjusted after seeing your awful clothes.” He grinned up at Howard, and when had he stepped so close? 

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Howard asked. 

“Everything,” Vince said. He stepped even closer to Howard. “Nothing.”

Howard cleared his throat. “In any case, I, too, am a fan of the more romantic holidays and well uh--” he seemed to lose his nerve.

“Yes?” Vince said, encouraging him. 

“And I’d quite like to spend this one with you,” Howard said. 

Vince hadn’t thought it possible for his smile to get any bigger, but then again he hadn’t thought it possible to feel this happy either. “Really?”

“Yes, really. And there’s something else,” Howard said, looking very serious. 

“Go on, then,” Vince said.

“I’d quite like to kiss you,” Howard said. “If that would be all right.”

Vine blushed and ducked down his head. “Yes, I’d like that quite a lot.”

Howard reached out and tucked his thumb under Vince’s chin, bringing his face back up. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Vince’s. Vince closed his eyes and sank into the kiss. His hands seemed to rise of their own volition and they buried themselves in Howard’s hair, bringing him closer. 

Vince could feel explosions of flowers blooming in his heart, petals clouding his vision, the smell of Howard’s flower arrangement wafted up and was the sweetest thing Vince had ever smelled, except for Howard’s skin. 

After a time, and Vince did not know how long that time was, Howard pulled back. He had a sweet shy little smile on his face. “Been wanting to do that for quite a long time. Just hadn’t realized,” he said. 

“Yeah, well, you’re a bit slow, but I don’t mind,” Vince said.

“That’s enough guff outta you,” Howard said. “I put my heart on the line. Made this thing.” He nudged the arrangement with his foot. 

“Oi! That’s mine,” Vince said. “I’ll not have you kicking it about.” He gave Howard a cheeky grin. “Though perhaps we best get it out from in front of the shop, otherwise someone might think I made it, then I really would be out of business.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Howard said sourly. 

Vince stood on his tiptoes and kissed Howard again. “It’s perfect, Howard. I love it.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Vince.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Howard.”

  
**The End**


End file.
